Snow Dayz

For the last three days we've had record snow fall here in Portland. Every day I've been driving in it and have been having the time of my life and appalled at the same time. On one hand, it's been fun as hell as you drive about and are never really quite in control. On the other hand, there's a record number of retards out there. I should point out that up until two years ago, I have never driven in snow. I've been in snow, but I was never the actual driver. All that having been said, I seem to know more then many I've seen on the roads of Portland over the last couple of days.

Things I know though:

IF you're afraid to be on the snowy icy road, don't go out in it. If you do, you're a retard.
Just because you have chains on, doesn't mean you are in control.
Don't drive too close to anyone and be careful passing because well you're not going to drive in a straight line.
Driving in chains in the highway, where the road was cleared days ago, means your chains are going to break and cause road hazards. As such, pull over and take them off.

Things I've been able to figure out:
Just because I have 4-wheel drive, doesn't mean my truck can go any place it wants too.
Little hills are bigger when they have a that much ice and snow on them.
82nd avenue is filled with retards before Xmass, even when we have a blizzard. (note- I should include myself in this retard class).

Pedestrians: Walking in the middle of the street can make sense because the ice is compacted. But you're retarded if you're walking in the middle of the street when cars are around and you expect them drive around you. Remember, drivers are only slightly in control. And if for only a second they are not, you're gonna lose big time. As such, don't be a retard, use the fucking side walk and help compact that ice yourself. But I can understand if you're on a side street and all, but on main bullivards? You're a complete retard if you're out in and amung traffic. Hopefully you haven't yet reproduced.

Cross Country Skiers: Probably the smartest people in Portland right now.
I mean this, not in facetious way either.